Loger

Age: 49

Gender/Orientation: Male, heterosexual, Dom/Sadist

Location: SE Alberta

Years involved in D/s and/or BDSM: 8 years

Anything else you wish to share? Although I define my sexual orientation as heterosexual, when it comes to play gender is not an issue.

Contact Loger at:

loger1 @ hotmail.com

Do you believe in safe words and limits?
Playing with a new person, definitely. While I am usually good at judging where a person is while I am playing with them, sometimes the feedback is not always there. Safe words are just another way for me to judge and adjust my level of play. It is not fun to have a sub quit after 5 minutes of play. Everyone has limits. It is better to sit down ahead of time and discuss limits. Experience has shown that if a person is willing to try a soft limit, the limit will usually change.

What are your personal limits?
Well I would have to say scat, kids and animals.

What's your favorite target?
I like to beat the back since I love to be able to put a nice set of rail tracks marks across a sub’s back. However, any part of the body is always a delight to beat!

What percentage of your strokes are off target? HA ! (JOKE!!!!)
Chuckle. Well as much as I would like to say none, I will fully admit that some strokes do go off. The thing is to watch and see what you did wrong and correct it. Of course if it is due to a dancing sub, then oh well.

What do you get the most pleasure from in a session?
Hmmm, that’s a hard one. I get pleasure from a number of different things. The flow of power from the sub to the Dom, the pride of being good at what I am doing, the sexual rush when the connection is working..

Are rituals part of your relationship?
Yes.

If so, can you tell us about some of them?
Most of are rituals are simple things. The first one is that zarah’s collar does not come off without my permission. In 6 years it has been off three times. Other rituals include:
· When we are together zarah may not sit at the table or eat without permission.
· In the morning it is her job to make coffee and serve it to me (even at her parents place!)
· If zarah wishes to sit on the furniture she has to ask.

What is the biggest benefit for you of being a dominant?
For me it fulfilled something that was missing in my life. Since discovering BDSM I have felt more relaxed and complete.

Where does sex fit in with your opinions of BDSM - D/s?
Well I like sex!! However, it depends on what has been negotiated before hand. I can get just as big of a rush out of having an intense play session with a sub as having sex with them. The power flow (Dom space) from such an intense scene is great!

Do you believe in 24/7 D/s? Define 24/7 D/s!
Unfortunately the practicality of life dictates that one cannot have a naked, chained sub/slave 24/7. However that does not mean that the invisible chains are not there. I think that 24/7 D/s means that while you carry out your daily life the subtle difference is that when the Dom says this is the way it is going to be, that’s it. The Dom has exercised his power and control. However I would hope that before the decision was made that the Dom would have listened to all of the options.

To what degree is your relationship BDSM OR D/s (or both).
I would say most of the time. However it does operate on a number of different levels. When we are in public it is more a very subtle thing. A look or a gesture might be all it is. However in private or in a lifestyle setting it is out in the open.

How important is it that dominants have some sort of personal experience or perspective of what they ask of their submissive to endure/perform?
This is to me an interesting question. I am one of those who went from being on line to real life. However, I had never experienced anything prior to me starting to “beat” subs. I have to admit I still haven’t felt a lot of the toys I play with, except for maybe trying it out on my hand or leg to get an idea of the feel. In hindsight, I think that I would have liked to have felt more toys before I started playing with other people. I think it would have made me a better Dom in that I would have a better understanding of the physical/physiological feelings involved and also I think it would allow me to be able to better find those sweet spots to hit.

What is your definition of the power exchange between Dom and sub?
Well that is hard to explain. However to me there is a very direct link as power flows from one person to the other. The Dom takes the power that the sub gives up and in return he gives the subs a feeling of well being and protection.

When serious anger occurs directly related to something pertaining to your submissive, how do you feel it should be dealt with?
Well I am not one who normally gets angry. However if something does occur the first thing I want to do is calm down. Once I have settled myself then it is time to sit down and have a talk. (something I am still learning to do).

What does being a dominant mean to you personally?
It means that before I can be in control of someone else I have to be in control of myself. Some of the things that I have noticed about myself since I became involved in the lifestyle is that my drinking is way down in comparison to what it use to be. The other thing I have noticed is that when things go wrong I am more apt to take a step back, look at the problem and fix it.

Do you believe a D/s relationship should be symbiotic, or is it all about your needs? Definitely symbiotic. If a submissive is not getting their needs met in a relationship then the relationship is doomed to fail.

What are your personal views on the dynamics of D/s?
hmm, this is a hard one for me to put into words. I like the dynamics involved. To me this is the first step in establishing the power exchange. As well, it defines the Dom’s role in the relationship.

How important is negotiation for you?
Very! If a sub does not feel safe then they will not want be able to establish the degree of trust that is necessary for a good D/S relationship whither it be short term or long term.

What are your feelings on slave contracts?
Well I have never owned a slave so this is all theory for me. However I think it can be a good thing for some people. It defines the slave’s duties as well as the Master’s.

How did you enter the BDSM world?
Well I am one of those people who had fantasies of torturing people from puberty on (maybe even before). I can clearly remember many a game of cowboy and indians where I tied up playmates and got to torture them, LOL. However, I cannot ever remember being tied up. In university I had a couple of girlfriends who let me tie them up but it never went past that. However even then I knew that they had to have a safe word (I didn’t know it was called that then). However, upon graduating university I figured that I had to leave all those things. But the urge was still there. The odd time I would try to find out more about it (looking in sex shops, underground newspapers etc) but I could never find anything. Then along came the internet! While surfing the internet one night I entered the words BDSM and found Bondage.com. Because of Bondage.com I met my first Real Life play partner. In fact till I got involved with the communities in Calgary and Edmonton I met all of my real play partners on Bondage.com including zarah.

How would you approach (WOULD you approach...) or deal with a vanilla acquaintance who was curious about BDSM and What It Is That We Do?
Well first I would talk with them and see if they had a genuine interest and what that interest was. Then I would take them to a munch to let them meet some people. If they were still interested I would then either invite them to watch a private play session or attend a play party.

Do you think long term couples should continue to adhere to limits and safewords or should they work to eliminate them?
Well I think as relationship progress safe words and limits fade into the background. I think this happens for a number of reasons. Both partners know how to read the other one. They both know their limits and they know which ones can be pushed. As they learn new things they start to explore them together. However, I do not feel a safeword should ever be ignored no matter how long the couple has been playing.

How important is scening within the parameters of your relationship?
I think that it is just one more component of the relationship that helps to build the total relationship.

What do you feel is the single, most important thing for any new dominant to learn (or observe, explore, share) when entering into this lifestyle? Can you give us an example of one of your first learning experiences?
Hmmmm, one thing. That’s a hard question because a Dom has to know so many things. I think that the single most important thing for a new Dom to remember is that he is not omnipotent. He has to realize that he can and will make mistakes and that while he might be Dom to some he is not Dom to everyone