"Only a submissive would do __________." This is one of the myths I hear repeated constantly within the BDSM and leather communities. I would like to see us realize that it is just that, a myth... folklore, which we've created in order to more easily define roles. Defining roles can be a great thing when setting the atmosphere for a scene, however it can severely limit us as dominants overall.

Let's pause and think about some archetypes for a moment. What first came to your mind? Daddy, Principle, King or Queen, Dog Trainer, Cop, School Marm, Master, Doctor, Nurse, Librarian, Dominant? How about princess, or little girl. Why do so few mention the alpha dog of the pack? There are too many stereotypes to conquer at once of course, so let's just break it into a couple of concrete examples.

When thinking about "Daddy's little princess," which archetype would you associate with dominance, the Daddy or the princess? Obviously most people in this community hear the word Daddy and instantly associate it with dominance. But I know of more than one little princess who has Daddy wrapped around her finger. If you eve have the honor to sit in on an ageplay workshop by Lolita Wolf you will be likely to meet her Daddyslave. He is both slave and Daddy, but not dominant. He does what she tells him, and she, even when in little girl space, knows how to get what she wants.

Let's take some examples from my own life of how a dominant can take advantage of such archetypes and utilize them within D/s interactions. My slave comes home, kneels to present herself and I reach out to pet her hair. Finally my hand rests on her forehead, or as she would say, over her "third eye" This is a ritual that we do daily to help her transition from work mode, into the headspace I want her in at home. Where it goes from there can be as simple as her asking to go check her email, or as complex as the beginning of a scene. Or of course it could be both.

Sometimes, when she arrives home, I am feeling very young and playful. I do not want to change our relationship away from the Master/slave relationship that it is, but I am in the mood for some things that are not traditional. There are several ways that I can help her realize this and bring her into the space in which she is best able to serve me. If I am thinking ahead, I may put on a brightly colored t-shirt, some overalls, a baseball cap, and sneakers. When she sees me, she will do her regular greeting ritual of kneeling etc, and I will even come over and pet her hair and put my hand on her forehead. But my attitude is very much that of a playful child. A child who is in charge, but nevertheless a child. She will notice that I am grinning perhaps, or bouncing slightly where I stand. The pets on her hair are likely to be less soft and sensual, more rough and tumble. And when she stands instead of telling her "stand boi" it is more likely that I would say "get up doggie!" My inner child calls both bois "doggie" as they are both puppybois. And as my email signature line says, "Cuz every boy needs a pup!" However when I call them doggie, it is not a signal for them to romp around on all fours, instead it is a signal that they are to be the submissive older child, or submissive adult figure to my inner child who has chosen to come out to play.

The bois know they are still expected to hold to the same rules and rituals that we have when I am not in "kid mode" and that to disobey me would result in things they do not want. How can a four year old discipline an adult? Oh, I can think of several ways. But if need be I have also been known to instantly switch into stern Daddy mode, and that not only means the bois are facing a the disappointment of their Daddy, but they are now responsible for pulling me out of that special childlike interaction which we cherish. You do NOT want to fuck up a kid's good time. A "four year old boy" can make it clear he is displeased just as much as a Daddy can. A four year old child can give rewards out as well as punishment, and if handled correctly, reading a "nini story" can be seen as a cherished act of service.

Also, as I mentioned earlier, both my bois are pups. One is a bit of a small guard dog, the other is a floppy eared mutt. Both are adorable humans who romp around on all fours and grin playfully up with puppy dog eyes. What I may not have mentioned though, is that I am the alpha dog of the pack. It is not below me to romp on all fours and steal a dog toy, but what you are more likely to see if you catch a rare glimpse of me in pup space, is me watching over the other pups, keeping the perimeter, and generally watching over those "in my charge" whatever that may mean to me in that moment.

Another such dominant dog, is Pup Tim, International Puppy 2002. Who, if push came to shove between he and I, is definitely the more dominant of the two; or, the femme pup who I will have the honor of serving as handler for at an upcoming event. She is primarily a top, and would like to explore puppy play, but not from a submissive standpoint. I introduced her to the concept of an alpha dog who is served by a human. Training pups can be a dominant activity, but caring for a pup can also be a submissive activity. As I tell people in my puppy workshops, if an alien race looked down at a human with his canine pup... they would not necessarily see a "Master" and his pup, they would see the human scooping up the waste products of the pup, carrying heavy loads of food and then serving the pup it's meals. They would see the human bending awkwardly to fetch toys to throw in order for the pup to enjoy itself and have exercise, and sitting for hours pleasuring the pup with scratches and pets in all the right places. To an alien culture it might very well seem like the pup was the Master, and the human, the servant. Why not take advantage of that and make it so? So for this "Alpha pup" femme who I will be assisting in finding her puppy space, I will be in service to her. Thank goodness for my switchyness or that might be a problem.

Is there a god or goddess of leather who decrees what we may or may not do? Who is that all-powerful being who decides a Master may not be held by a slave and a slave must never scritch behind his master's ear? Who decides what is appropriate behavior for a girl and that she MUST NOT be dominant? No, these are not the gods I worship. To me, there are no boundaries to our dominance and submission except those we give ourselves. If I am the dominant, I see no reason not to set the boundaries and perimeters of my relationships exactly where I wish them to be. No one else tells this alpha dog how to run his household. WOOF!