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Ok so I'm a 'marks' junkie.
After my very first mark that lasted beyond over night I have been
enamored with them ever since. This is a tricky situation for a
girl who isn't a pain slut but I've discovered more than one way
to satisfy my desire.
For me, marks represent many things, a badge of honor, a souvenir,
or indicator of how much pain I was able to endure, how much of
a slut I was. It really doesn't matter to me what they represent,
excluding punishment of course, as long as I have some the day after
the night before.
Not all my fellow submissives enjoy marks as much as I do. Some
consider it an indication of being pushed too far while others truly
hate the look of bruises as they fade. Some relate bruising to abuse
and marks are an extreme hard limit for them. It's wise to discuss
marks with your partner to find out how they view them. If, as a
dom, you 'have' to mark your submissive, its best you don't start
playing with someone who has no interest in seeing the results of
your sadism in the morning.
For the average submissive that is in general good health physically,
marks are usually a welcomed aspect of bondage and S&M play. At
the very least they might be ambivalent about them. One thing most
of us have in common though, is the location the marks are displayed
on our bodies. With the vanilla world to contend with, it isn't
wise to leave marks in places a boss or mother or friend might see
them. Personally, my rule on being marked is, if my clothing can
cover them then the spot is fair game. Others might prefer the bruising
be limited to their ass or their breasts. Again, it's worth finding
these preferences out as it can avoid some nasty words later.
Decades of social conditioning has ingrained in us that women should
not carry physical bruises from their relationships. Dominants and
submissives have had to deal with that issue for years, as well
as overcoming the difference between consensual play and abuse.
For some, being marked is the line they use to separate one from
the other. For others, a history of physical abuse may mean that
marks on their skin will never be acceptable and if by some chance
it happens, it can be extremely traumatic to them. For many more,
we just love to see a little evidence to remind us or to use to
show our friends the fun we had.
Now, getting back to the submissive that isn't a masochist. How
are you supposed to mark a submissive that does not react well to
pain? For me, by the time you are spanking or flogging me hard enough
to mark me, my pain tolerance has long since been past. This isn't
to say I refuse pain, it's just that I don't handle it as well a
most. How do you mark somebody like this in a pleasurable manner?
I can tell you ways that have worked on me. Some, people will think,
are extreme, others would be considered juvenile, but this requires
creativity so I take what I can get.
Needle play. Seriously. The higher the gauge (the number) the thinner
the needle, the less pain there is. But there are still little tiny
polka dots left behind that last for at least a day and sometimes
longer. Experiment a little, see how low your submissive can go
with the gauge of the needle, we can all manage a little pain, so
the sadist in you will get a thrill out it as well.
Violet wands also leave marks in their wake on my skin. Surprisingly
enough the marks can last up to a week. They are not the pretty
purple and blue marks of a bruise, but I've had some pretty funky
red stripes happening on my back. If you get creative with the wand
you can leave all kinds of patterns on a willing back. My breasts
mark from the wand as well. A lot of surface blood vessels will
get very very red and they take a few days to settle down.
The wand is tool that you can alter the intensity of the sensation,
so again, the sadist in you can enjoy your submissive's reactions
as you toy with the level of zap they receive. Personally, I tend
to squirm and squeal the most from the violet wand, the noise alone
makes me jump, not to mention the tingling to intense zap it can
deliver.
A little trick that works on me for percussion instruments is to
hit the same spot over and over without using too much pressure.
This is great when the goal is to leave a big old bruise. I've been
surprised to wake up I in the morning to a big purple splotch on
my breasts or my ass from this technique because I usually don't
notice it's being done at the time. I can't say I have been sorry
to see those pretty purple colors covering my skin either.
The most juvenile and yet most effective way to mark my skin is
by giving me a hickey. I almost hate to admit it because it is so
reminiscent of the teenaged lover's lane mentality but it works.
I'm not talking about the big neck sucking marks on the side of
a neck here though. I'm talking breasts and inner thigh, perhaps
the shoulder. They give me a little thrill ever time I see them.
They can last a day or a week depending on the enthusiasm used in
the giving of them and they always make me smile as long as my clothing
can cover them up so the rest of the world can't see them. If you,
as the sadist, require a pain element in this case, you can always
use your teeth. A bite mark is pretty fun to look at too.
Last but not least there is the old-fashioned spanking or paddling.
It is here that I have difficulty living through the event to reap
the reward. I just don't like that kind of pain and I must grit
my teeth and bear it until it is over.
There are things that help, at least for me, to overcome some of
the difficulty involved in bearing this kind pain. Warm-ups help
considerably. Starting off slowly with an implement that I like
and working up to the hard stuff will allow me to go much further
than starting out with say, a cane. Also there is the element of
passion to consider. If heavier pain is administered in the middle
or near the end of a punishment scene I can get to a point where
I will beg to be hit harder. That's a big deal for me when I do.
When I'm asking for pain I'm very focused on my dominant and my
desire to please him is hitting the peak of the scale.
Admittedly the marks I have the next day from a session of that
intensity are probably my most favorite and cherished because I
know that at some point I was completely out of control, a place
I really like to be. I also know that my dominant was able to take
his own sadistic enjoyments to a level that we don't get to come
by often. I'll check those marks many times throughout the day to
watch the colors as they change and I feel disappointment when they
begin to fade.
So as you can see, there are definitely ways to mark a submissive
even when they are not masochistic. The techniques will very likely
be different for each person and there is a skill in finding ways
to satisfy your sadistic needs while not putting your submissive
through punishments that they will not derive any pleasure from.
Please don't think that I am promoting the idea of serving your
submissive, that's not what I'm saying here. It is a fact that each
person has their own threshold for the amount of pain they can handle,
for some of us the level is much lower than others. You don't have
to use brute force to produce marks on the skin; there are other
options available. And if you have sadistic tendencies that need
to be carried out, and you have a submissive who doesn't like pain,
then I hope you will now see there are ways around the problem.
You will hear this a thousand times when talking about the BDSM
lifestyle. Talk it out, communicate and find what works for both
of you. |
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