You're not an Experienced Dom/me if:
...you think that a "crop" is this autumn's wheat harvest.
...you think a sub needs lettuce, tomato and pickles.
...you think your sub can stay underwater for weeks.
...you think that "edge play" is spitting over the side of a bridge.
...you think "topping" is what Dairy Queen puts on your banana split.
...you think that "surrender" is what happens when the Vice Squad breaks down your door for pandering.
...you think "nipple clamps" are plumber's tools.
...you think "orgasm" is the art of Japanese paper folding.
...you're a Dom who thinks that handcuffs come in only two styles: fur-lined and miniature key chain.
...you thinks that "blindfolding" is packing away your duck blind at the end of hunting season.
...you're idea of the "perfect scene" is a Bud Lite commercial at half-time.
...you think that a "red bottom" is one of them there "foreign" beers.
...you think that "a paddling" is something you do when the trolling motor on your bass boat runs out of gas.
...you think that a "slave contract" is a right you lost in the War of Northern Aggression.
...you think a "cock ring" is a place for fighting chickens.
...you think that "boot worship" is one of those New-Age religions. ...you think "suspension" is something that holds up your pants.
...you think a "cat o' nine tails" is what your pet will give birth to if you live near a nuclear power plant.
...you think a "pillory" is something used to remove unsightly hair growth.
...you think "bondage" is a series of spy movies.
...you think a "ball gag" is a joke about sports.
...you think that a "rack" is a place to store your rifles.
...you think that "stocks" are something rich people invest in.
...you think that a "yoke" is something you dip your toast into each morning.
...you think that "spermicide" is a mass whale-beaching.
...you think that "AstroGlide" is your telephone psychic.
...you think that "fetish" is some kind of goat cheese.
...you think that "C&BT" is a place where you'd like to open a savings account.
...you think that "role playing" is something that you do at the craps table.
...you think "a scene" is having an argument in front of company.