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The Making
of a Switch
by ShiVa
|
OK, I started out as a sub. I lived to submit to
my Master, to be what he wanted me to be, to worship him, to be
whipped and beaten and sent flying into that wonderful place we
know as subspace. Yes, I was a happy little subbie submerged in
a multitude of sensations and emotions. Glorious.
Then one day my Master told me he wanted me to dominate a submissive
friend of ours. He wanted to see how I'd take to wielding the
whip. I was terrified. It wasn't me. I wasn't the dominant type
at all. I was whippee not the whipper. But it was what he wanted
and so I felt I had to try.
I was scared to death when our friend arrived at the house. He
knew it too, both of them did. Our friend put it to me this way.
Shiva, don't think of it as dominating me, think of it as allowing
me to feel the sensations that you love so much yourself. With
that thought firmly in my mind I carried on.
The first few strokes with flogger were tentative and hesitant.
Was I doing it right? Was it hard enough? Too hard? My Master
leaned against wall and nodded, encouraging me to continue. I
found that I needed to watch my charge more than my Master as
I needed to know how he was feeling as well. I needed to pay attention
to the way his body moved, the sounds he made. Soon I completely
forgot where I was and who I was. I was totally focused on the
man kneeling on our spanking bench. I was totally in tune with
him and what he needed. I felt a strength and power as I began
to choose what reaction I wanted from him. I was orchestrating
his experience and he would only experience what I chose to let
him.
When the evening was done I was energized.
Our friend left and Master and I had a long discussion. He asked
me many questions. How did I feel? What was different? What did
I like the best? What did I like the least? He made me analyze
everything I was feeling. He also made it OK for me to admit to
how much I had enjoyed that feeling of power and control.
Dominating produces a completely different kind of energy for
me than submission does. Submission for me is very internal, domination
external. When I top, my energy feels as if it is expanding, where
as when I submit my energy seems to concentrate. It's difficult
to explain. They are two very different things and I find now
that I've tapped into both I need them both.
I need to feel that power sometimes, to have a man kneel at my
feet and beg for my attention. I want him to be humble and meek
in my presence I want to make him squirm and writhe in pain or
in absolute pleasure. I want to decide what he will or will not
feel. I want to choose the rewards he receives, the punishments
he earns. I want to trip him up with mind fucks and teasing. I
have come to truly enjoy being a Goddess.
This isn't to say that I am not interested in submission anymore.
No not at all. I have discovered over the past 2 years that each
role serves a distinct purpose in my life. Master has graciously
allowed me my own submissive, I see him two to three times a month
and I speak to him daily. I keep my place with my Master; I am
always submissive to him and understand that he is granting me
the privilege of living two very distinct roles. But when I am
with my boy, I am the Goddess of all things and I think everyone
should be able to feel that way at some point in their lives.
ShiVa |
