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Age:
38
Gender/Orientation: Male,
Dom
Location: San Diego
Years involved in D/s and/or BDSM:
15
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The
Interview
Section One:
Do you use toys?
Yes, I have two favorites - gags and anal plugs. If so, what
is Your favourite toy, If I had to pick between the two I
would choose anal plugs because they can be worn in public
and I just love to watch her squirm with it in
Do you believe in safe words and limits?
Safe words Yes, Limits are fluid and will change constantly
as a relationship grows.
What are Your personal limits?
Aside from the most obvious "no minors or other zoo animals"
non consensual involvement of others (i.e. involving the general
public in a scene)
What's your favorite target?
Physical targets are many and each provoke their own desired
effect but to me the "mind" is the ultimate target.
What percentage of your strokes are
off target? (Ha! Joke!)
Honestly I have only missed once… and that's no joke…
Are rituals part of your relationship?
If so, can you tell us about some of them?
Yes, There is always an undertone of D/s no matter what we
are doing. For example, there is a ritual for punishment with
a cane. For severe infractions the cane is the instrument
of choice. She is required to light a special candle, used
only for a caning. She is to be on the bed ass exposed waiting
for me. Additionally, Witch Hazel, Rubbing alcohol and lotion
are to be ready as well as a washcloth. Her buttocks are first
rubbed with rubbing alcohol then a hot hand towel is use followed
by a light massage with the lotion. Then and only then does
the caning begin. After the punishment has been administered
the buttocks are rubbed with Witch Hazel. This is the same
every time the cane is used for punishment. If I tell her
to go light her candle she, without a doubt, knows what is
in store.
What
is the biggest benefit for you of being a dominant?
* wink * I get it when "I" want it….
Where does sex fit in with your opinions
of BDSM - D/s?
Safe Sane and consensual are the prevailing factors here.
In my relationship it only reinforces our roles and it brings
us to a higher level of play and enjoyment.
To what degree is your relationship BDSM OR D/s (or both).
Our relationship is based on both aspects but to different
degrees at different times. When people are present it is
much more subtle i.e. The knowing look across a crowded room
that "asks" permission to use the bathroom, Standing
on her tiptoes for even the slightest of kisses are some less
obvious to the innocent by stander. Kneeling and waiting for
me in her office when I arrive home from work.
Section Two:
How important is it that Dominants have
some sort of personal experience or perspective of what they
ask of their submissive to endure/perform?
In most things it's very important to have personal experience
especially if it is something new for you and your submissive.
What does being a Dominant mean to You personally?
In a word "influence". Having a greater influence
in the direction of things.
Do you believe a D/s relationship should
be symbiotic, or is it all about Your needs?
Symbiotic but influence and dependence are not always equal.
What are Your feelings on slave contracts?
They have their place. I personally do not have one with my
submissive.
How would you approach (WOULD you approach...)
or deal with a vanilla acquaintance who was curious about
BDSM and What It Is That We Do?
Yes. Honesty is always the best policy. I would also try my
best to avoid acronyms and terms they might not understand.
Do you think long term couples should
continue to adhere to limits and safewords or should they
work to eliminate them?
I have never used a safe word with my submissive, even in
the beginning. I think that couples in long term relationships
should not really have a need for them. When you've been with
someone for a long time you can complete their sentences for
them - we have all done it. That's when you really know someone
well.
Section Three:
What do You feel is the single, most
important thing for any new Dominant to learn (or observe,
explore, share) when entering into this lifestyle? Can You
give us an example of one of Your first learning experiences?
I feel that no matter what side of the BD&SM fence you
plan to live or play on - you always need to be "your
own" devils advocate… For every action there is a subsequent
reaction. If you do anything to a submissive that results
in a reaction that was not expected then your are not in control.
After all this is all about control - those that have it -
those who want - it and those who give it…
MD has kindly offered us some pictures of his slave Dove
in the amateur picture section
of Dom's View
