Bio:
First
off I would like to say that I am a Dominant from Canada. I am a
bi-curious Male and am very open about My sexuality. I don’t hide
behind masks or make things up to please other people. I’ve been
involved in the D/s world for around 4 or 5 years now, and I take
great pleasure in the lifestyle. I squeeze the toothpaste tube from
the middle, I don’t roll it up, why waste the time?
Section
One:
Do
you believe in safe words and limits? What are Your personal limits?
I
think that safe words have their place when a couple in a BDSM
relationship are new to each other. New meaning that they haven’t
spent years together and don’t quite know the full extent of each
others limits. I feel though that even after a couple does know
each others full limits, the safe word should still be kept around
just in case something new arises that one or the other members
of the couple may feel is completely out of bounds.
What's
your favorite target?
My
favorite target, well that’s an easy one, the ass. There’s nothing
more satisfying than spanking bella, though I think she might
have a different opinion about that one.
What
percentage of your strokes are off target? HA ! (JOKE!!!!)
The
percentage of strokes off target is an objective opinion I think.
In my opinion, none of the strokes are off target, but if you
were to ask bella, she’d probably say that they were all off target
*chuckles*
Are
rituals part of your relationship? If so, can you tell us about
some of them?
Rituals
are part of the relationship I have with bella. Each day when
I return home, she is to greet Me in the proper slave position
as taught to her by Me. I usually circle around her and examine
her and her posture, she is required to stay on her knees with
her thighs spread, her hands palm up on her legs, back arched
and eyes downcast until I tell her she may get up. I feel it is
important to have some sort of ritual in a relationship as it
gives it a structure.
What
is the biggest benefit for you of being a dominant?
The
biggest benefit of being a dominant is that I feel that I am in
My element, and I feel satisfaction and fulfillment. Vanilla relationships
are enjoyable and do provide satisfaction, but not on the same
level as a D/s relationship. It brings Me pleasure to know that
through my fulfillment I can bring fulfillment and enjoyment to
bella’s life as well.
Section
Two:
How
important is it that Dominants have some sort of personal experience
or perspective of what they ask of their submissive to endure/perform?
I
feel that a Dominant having personal experience as to what they
are asking their submissive of slave to endure is very important.
It allows the Dominant to know exactly what they are asking of
their submissive. Most of the time before I punish bella I will
test out the punishment I have bestowing upon her before I give
it to her. There are limits to this of course, if I know in My
mind that it is safe and doable I will just give her the punishment,
but when I am unsure of it, or it’s something new that I think
could be a good idea, I’ll test it out Myself ahead of time, of
course this only works for punishments that are to be done alone.
When
serious anger occurs directly related to something pertaining
to your submissive, how do you feel it should be dealt with?
When
serious anger occurs due to bella something I almost always try
to do, is take a step back, take a breather and let Myself calm
down a bit before I deal with the situation. I feel this is a
very important thing, because if I did not allow Myself to cool
down before I dealt with something, I might say something that
would be hurtful to bella. Also this allows Me to clearly think
through how and what I should do about a situation, so that I
don’t regret a decision I may have made after the fact.
What
does being a Dominant mean to You personally?
To
Me being a Dominant means not having to put the toilet seat down
after I take a pee. Just kidding. Honestly I feel that being a
Dominant means responsibility, caring, patience, and above all
trust. Having the power over another person carries with it a
big responsibility not to abuse that power that has been given
to you. It is also
My duty to care for bella and her needs as My submissive and as
a person.
Do
you believe a D/s relationship should be symbiotic, or is it all
about Your needs?
I
feel that just like any relationship a D/s relationship is a two
way street. If My submissive isn’t taking from the experience,
learning and growing, as well as enjoying herself, then something
is wrong. This isn’t
to say that it isn’t sometimes all about Me, because on occasion
it is all about Me, My pleasure, My benefit, but generally I try
to keep it a balance, so that we are both getting something from
our interactions. This helps keep our relationship healthy, and
a healthy relationship is something that is desired by both Myself
and bella.
What
are Your feelings on slave contracts?
I
feel that slave contracts are a good thing in that they define
a relationship. When bella and I formed our relationship, we also
drew up a submissive contract, as opposed to a slave contract,
as she is not My slave, but My submissive. It has been very helpful
in defining some of the things in our relationship, as everything
is down on paper, expectation, duties and whatnot. It helps ensure
that both of us understood what was expected and wanted by the
other.
Section
Three:
What
do You feel is the single, most important thing for any new
Dominant to learn (or observe, explore, share) when entering
into this lifestyle? Can
You give us an example of one of Your first learning
experiences?
I feel that the single most important thing that any
new Dominant should learn is honesty. Honesty is a huge factor
in D/s relationships. New Dominants need to be honest with their
partner or prospective partner about exactly what they do or do
not know. I don’t think a submissive knowing that a Dominant is
new, is going to scorn Him or Her for not knowing how to tie a
good knot, or the proper way to swing a flogger so it doesn’t
cause undue damage to the submissive. If you give honesty, in
most cases, honesty you will get in return.
One of the first things
I learned when I started exploring
the BDSM lifestyle is that trust, respect and
honesty are the most important things in the lifestyle.
I learned this because My partner at the time
didn't really respect Me. She was in a dominant role and only
enjoyed using Me for what pleased her, and didn't *really* take
into account My personal feelings on what was happening. It was
all about her all the time. Not to say I didn't enjoy it, because
I did, but I didn't feel the same sense of satisfaction she did,
at least I don't think I did. I was unsure of how things
were supposed to be, so naturally not knowing, I thought it was
normal to not be respected as a submissive (yes I was a subbie
as I said earlier). Somehow after we played or she made
Me do something, I felt cheated, or like I didn't really get anything
out of it. I felt like she wasn't honest with Me, that she
was keeping something from Me for her benefit, and it turned out
she was, she was keeping the respect hidden from Me. Trust, respect
and honesty, without them, there is no point.
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