|
From
the very beginnings of our relationship I have stressed
that I want to hear everything that silent whisper has
to say. I have always stressed that I want to hear the
good and the bad. I may not be happy with what I hear
but that I do want to hear it. I have always attempted
to reinforce that maxim at every opportunity that I get.
For those times when there is something nebulous - either
a feeling or something that has transpired between us
that she cannot immediately put into coherent words, she
has a daily journal that she must keep up in which to
express it. One of the conditions about the journal is
that she can say whatever she wants in there and I have
promised not to respond with anger or hold against her.
This provides both of us with a communication valuable
tool.
When there is something that is bothering Me, I try and
bring it up with silent whisper as gently as possible.
This usually takes the form of either My saying I have
a concern or that I have a question. I do this for two
reason. First it alerts her to the fact that this is a
serious talk time and second prevents something coming
"out of the blue" to her.
During these discussions I will present my concern or
question to silent whisper as clearly and as fully as
I possibly can. The topic may have been something that
she has raised in her journal that she is feeling unsure
about or it may be something she has said that I am not
sure that I understand (or hope that My understanding
is incorrect) or it may be a situation that I feel is
progressing in a "wrong" direction. I will then
wait and listen to her response. I try My hardest to truly
"hear" what she is saying and most often than
not it is truly a misunderstanding. When there is a bone
of contention, we have a dialogue and discuss the situation.
These have been known to go on for extended periods of
time! Ultimately as I am the Dom, I will make a decision
taking her opinions into consideration, as much as possible
but the final decision is mine.
There have been one or two times when we have not satisfactorily
resolved issues and silent whisper has felt the need to
send Me an email expressing her dissatisfaction, which
usually prods Me to reexamine and modify the position
that I have taken. Those a rare and usually on very emotional
issues.
I guess the bottom line is that in order not to stifle
or oppress silent whisper, I try and be a good communicator
and to hear what it is that she is saying and not just
listen. If she has an issue or needs/want clarification,
she will follow the same ritual and I know then that it
is time to pay serious attention.
Black
Cat
|
Master and I try
to never go to bed angry. I truly believe in that. If
something happened during the night I would regret that
we did not sort out the disagreement we had. I would not
want that to be the last thing between us.
When, we are both upset, words can get heated. We try
to discuss our feelings in a calm, collected way. Sometimes
it is necessary to take a step back. We usually end up
saying good night then both of us stay online and try
to calm down. I usually write an email to Master and also
write in my journal to express my anger and hurt. Once
I am through I send him a message to tell him that there
is mail for him. He usually reads it then sends me a reply.
After that we end up talking again either on the phone
or online.
Master and I do not live together but we do talk everyday
either on the phone, online or both. Disagreements will
always be there however, communication between us is the
key. As a submissive, I try to talk about what is bothering
me in a calm, cool way. I use my journal a lot to express
my feelings and emotions. My journal is my safe haven.
I can say anything and everything without ruffling any
feathers. Master reads it every day and if there is something
there to discuss we do so. I can usually tell when Master
is upset or disagrees with something I have said. I usually
ask him what is bothering him.
If I am very upset or disagree with something Master has
said, I will express these feelings through my journal
but always in a respectful way. Now don't get me wrong,
I do tell Master when I am upset or angry but sometimes
it is better for me to do so through my journal first
because I know Master reads it all the time and I know
that by doing this I am calmer myself. For me, writing
is a way of expressing my feelings and emotions whether
it is happy or sad thoughts. I find that I can find the
proper words to express myself instead of blowing my top
and in turn, Master blowing his. Once I have those words
out I can then go to Master and explain to him without
getting upset myself and without upsetting him unnecessarily.
Communication is the key. A calm, cool manner in which
we can discuss our problems or disagreements whether it
is in person or in writing. We are still communicating.
I don't want to ever feel that I need to hide any emotions
or feelings from Master. By using my journal and my poetry,
I can express to Master, those thoughts and feelings without
ruffling his feathers and without being afraid that I
am going to ruffle his feathers.
silent whisper {BC}
|
