Keeping the BDSM lifestyle in a predominantly
vanilla world has its ups and downs. With us we have to plan ahead
at times if we have a notion to play as the children are at an
age where they understand what is going on around them. They see
a great deal and draw their own conclusions. We have done our best
to keep the majority of the scene from their eyes but when you
have all your own tools to make BDSM gear then sometimes they accidentally
see what you are making. They have accidentally seen some of the
floggers I make either by witnessing the construction of them or
when, as every child does, through snooping. (We now have large
locked play cabinets).
It is not like we can just play at the spur of the moment either. Children and
school coupled with work makes it very difficult to find time to play. Most of
our play has to be done somewhat quietly, so we incorporate the many quieter
forms of BDSM in our sexual play. There are many forms of BDSM, flogging and
whipping etc are just some of them. The D/s side of the scene allows for a much
quieter approach. Humiliation during sex and face slapping (she loves this) enhanced
with breath play add to the excitement of our daily encounters.
A Dom has to be very creative in order to overcome these pitfalls of the vanilla
world. Sometimes it takes an extra little bit of imagination like filling the
bath with water and setting up the jet spa then lighting a few candles. Let her
think that she is being pampered. As she gets comfortable and starts to relax
that is when the torture begins. Forcing your sub to continuously masturbate
with an artificial device can be frustrating because they never really reach
that ultimate orgasm, all they are feeling is a lot of little ones. Then you
take her in the bedroom, tie her to the bed and let her stew for awhile, occasionally
coming in to tantalize her senses bringing her to almost a point of no return
then stopping and leaving again. After all the whole part of BDSM is torture
in one form or another.
I think I can speak for both of us though in saying how thankful we are for the
chance to play at other people's houses and with other couples because I believe
a good flogging with lots of noise is always good and that is something you just
can't get at home with two teenagers hanging about. The only other time we get
to play is when the kids have decided that they would like to stay with their
friends on an overnight.
Here is a question I will put to all of you. If BDSM was a major part of your
lives before you had children would you have had them? LOL : )
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Well, I work
full time and I also go to school part time in the evenings. My
Master and I have 2 preteen/teen children so whenever my Master
and I find time alone together it is a luxury to me.
Time to play together when we are both completely free to relax is not easy to
find. The most ideal time for play is when the kids are out of the house. As
they get older I can see them beginning to listen and understand better what
we are saying or doing so we are always trying to be careful. When they go to
a camp out or maybe Grandma takes them it is like BDSM festival of pleasures
at our house.
I can scream as loud as I want!!! It is tremendous sense of freedom to be able
to walk around naked, get a spanking with a wooden spoon in the kitchen and to
be able to use our "big play area" (eye hooks in the entrance to the
living room where Master chains me up for play sessions with him). However, most
of the time we do have the kids and so besides the occasions where we attend
play parties we are resigned to our bedroom for most of our BD and SM play (I
recommend a well organized and lockable toy cabinet if you have children and
you are seriously into BDSM)
Luckily though I enjoy D/s and humiliation very much and most times these activities
can easily be accomplished (even in public) with no one else being aware of them.
When we meet up during the day or evening he will often say a word, or a sentence
or issue an order very quietly (if others are near) that I must follow. I am
always expected to obey. I respond to his requests with "yes Master" and
if I forget he just looks at me with that look and I know that he will "remember
later".
Master might remind me of whip or strap or sexual act he intends to do/use on
me that night, or he might call me a name that activates, for me a least, a sexual
response to this verbal humiliation. Hair pulling can also be done very discreetly
and disguised as a passionate kiss to everyone else. A delay in obeying an order
issued during the day (Master keeps track and running totals) can result in a "punishment" later
on that evening. The strap is used often.
He often is annoyed though, that I enjoy many types of physical pain and he says
it is not a punishment if I enjoy it. He has found ways around this problem though
and I have learned through Master's lessons that the only truly terrible punishment
for me is "no domination at all" so I don't like to test Master too
much by being a brat. I simply am addicted to BDSM and it has made me sensuously
happy everyday of my life since I found it.
PS: I have a particular fondness for breath play/control (yes I know the risks)
and that is a very quiet BDSM bedroom activity even when the kids are home :
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