Today I want to talk about my favorite fetish, the one that turns me on the most, and oddly enough the one I see talked about the least. Why is this fetish the least talked about? I think its because its likely one of the most dangerous fetishes that exist. The problem is, the danger that comes from the activity can not easily be spotted. Its not the kind of fetish that leaves marks if done improperly. Its not one that is easily noted to be abuse. But it it likely the most dangerous to ones mental well being.

What fetish am I talking about? Verbal degradation. This is not to be confused with verbal humiliation. Whats the difference? Verbal humiliation is a mild form of play. It is the act of using words to humiliate your partner. Typically this type of play is enjoyed by both parties. Mild forms of verbal humiliation are things likes calling your partner a slut, a whore, a cunt… etc. Likewise, it can also be used by having your partner call themselves these things. Often times, even in vanilla relationships it is common practice to hear a woman yell out “I’m your slut” or “I’m your cunt, fuck me harder”… things like that.

Why is this verbal humiliation and not degradation? Because both partners are truly enjoying the act. Yes its humiliating to be called those kinds of names. Yes it can be humiliating to be called those kinds of names. However when all is said and done, when the sex is over, both partners know thats not how they really feel. The guy knows his girl is not a slut, or a cunt, or a whore, or whatever other names can be thought up. When the sex is over, everything goes back to normal.

So how does this differ from verbal degradation? First of all, verbal degradation does not humiliate, it degrades. The degraded partner actually feels bad about themselves during this type of play. It can become confusing whether their partner actually means the things being said. Often times very personal insecurities can be brought into this type of play. The biggest difference, if done improperly can lead to depression, self esteem issues, and even mental instability.

I can say I love verbal degradation. I love the act of using words to break a sub/slave into tears. I love using words to make it so a sub/slave doesn’t even want to open their eyes and acknoledge the activity. I love making a sub/slave say things about themselves they absolutely can’t stand to say. Is what I enjoy abusive? If not done correctly, yes it is. So how is this praactice done correctly? Let me give you a little scene to explain.

Imagine your partner is a female slave. Although petite, she is constantly dieting and thinking she is fat. So you use her self conciousness in the bedroom to literally degrade her. While having intercourse:

Dom: “You are worthless. If it were not for sex I wouldn’t even want you. Thats all anyone likes you for, because you are a good piece of ass. No would would ever really be friends with a fat fuck like you. This is what you were born for, to keep your ugly, fat oozing cunt on your back pleasuring a man. Isn’t that right”
Sub: *tears starting* “Yes”
Dom: “Say it”
Sub: “I am a fat pig who is good for nothing except fucking”
Dom: “Exactly. Now oink you stupid fuck hole”
Sub: *Sobbing uncontrollably* “OINK”
Dom: “God you really are fucking pathetic, you know I am serious about what I say, you really are only good for fucking you ugly fat pig”
Sub: *still sobbing* “Yes I know”

Now after the sex is over, thats where damage control comes in. This is VERY IMPORTANT and is NOT SAFE to ignore. You need to tend to the girl after this type activity. You need to reassure and get her believing that she is special and wonderful because she allows you to engage in such activity. You need to tell her how beautiful she is. You need to assure her she is amazing looking and skinny and ensure her that nothing said in the bedroom was real. You need to ensure she realizes it was roleplaying/acting.

To not do so, leaves the girl feeling awful about herself. It creates self esteem issues. She will believe you really just use her for sex. It can quickly lead to low self esteem, withdrawnness, and even suicide. This type of play show not be engaged UNLESS with a SERIOUS partner. It should not be tried by those who are new to the scene. It should not be engaged in with your everyday play partners. Only those who first have the HIGHEST level of trust should engage in this type of play.

The level of trust I am talking about can only come from being in a relationship with your partner for a LONG time before engaging. So if you are going to engage in this activity, make sure well you know what to expect and what you are doing. Otherwise you could find yourself with a very depressed partner, without a partner, in some major legal reprocussions, or worst of all, a dead partner.

Lately I have been wondering just how many sadists have broken a slave/sub down into tears using JUST verbal methods. I know I have, but am I the only one? Perhaps its a question for on of the fetlife groups I am a member of. I think I shall ask their later today.