I've always thought of myself as a hard-core submissive. All my fantasies placed me in the position of passive, if sometimes mischievous, child. Ever since I've been in the spanking scene (and I'm a veteran of over a decade), my forte has been lying down, across a bed or over a lap, passive and joyfully humble. It requires rather less energy to take a spanking than to give one. Most importantly, I love being the receiver of sensation: the ineffable feel of gentle smacks graduating to sharp quite painful swats as I get more turned on. When I am fully aroused, there's nothing that compares to stinging buttocks for intensifying a climax.

Dominance just didn't work for me. When I first got into spanking, I tried giving one but it was not a turn-on. I simply couldn't get into being the big, bad meanie so I was quite insistent with my partners that they were to be the bosses or outraged lovers and I was to pull my panties down.

One thing that can add quite a bit to the afterglow of a spanking, especially if it's been a good, long, hard one, is to be able to see it. Lazy brat that I am, that has usually meant my spanker bringing a mirror and holding it up to my reddened bum while I peeked over my shoulder.

That got me thinking: wouldn't it be nice to watch a bottom while it's being spanked? Fortuitously, I was involved with a lady who affirmed (just as stubbornly as I used to) that she was a spankee.

Anyway, I let her lie across my lap. This time was different. I got a charge out of watching my lady's ass cheeks move and change color. Also, I was excited by giving so much pleasure, which in this case meant giving pain while being alert to her reactions.

I think the key for us submissives in making a successful switch may lie in a new way of thinking about the role of spanker. Instead of thinking of it as "dominant," we should emphasize that we are giving a spanking. The generosity and service of giving has a natural appeal to our erotic personalities.

We are giving to another what we enjoy getting and the fantasy of being in two places at once, both sides now, can be a source of thrill. In this case, of course, we do not give exactly the type of spanking we would like to receive since each spankee is so individual as to his or her pain threshold, and the speed and timing of swats, etc. that will give an erotic thrill. Rather, we give the same careful, sensitive attention to the pain/pleasure of the bottom's bottom that we want shown to our own.

I’ve continued to switch, being spanker with some partners and spankee with others and taking both roles with still others.

Being dominant led me to meet a young man who had long fantasized about being spanked by an older woman and to act as a quasi-mother figure to him. After discussing his fantasies on the internet, we were able to meet in the flesh. Only 19 years old, he had never been spanked as a child. He had received one previous spanking from an adult man but never from a woman so I felt a special sense of privilege when he went across my knee and I pulled down his pants to look at what I considered “virgin butt.” As it turned out, that spanking was not entirely successful as he told me sometime later that he didn’t experience the “giving up of control” that he wanted and said I “didn’t spank hard enough.” It was not until two years later that I got another crack (pun intended) at it. That time I gave it all I had and got him crying. The spanking was satisfying to both of us.

Overall, I would have to say I still enjoy receiving a spanking more than giving one but I definitely relish the experience of being a giver of this exciting sensation and believe that many spankees who have experimented with switching and found it boring might discover that life at the other "end" is rewarding when approached it this way.