| This
one took some thought. Sure, in the vanilla world there are odd
couples but in the kink Community there can
be some very odd couplings. So, what are the oddest that I have
encountered? That took some thought. First criteria, the relationship
must work; it can't be a one night stand. Second, it has to be
lasting and stand the test of time and most important, it must
be open and visible to the vanilla world. I came up with two couples.
Both are what we all affectionately
tag as “gender benders”.
Couple one
is a“M”/f pairing. As in all pairings,
there is the Dominant character and the submissive. In this case,
the female is just that. She is both born a genetic female and
remains as such. She is openly Gay with a 100% preference for females.
She is extremely active in the GLBT Community and well known to
everyone. The second half of the couple is a transgender f -> “M”.
I am not going to go into all the mechanics of what she/he has
done or is doing but for all practical purposes what was once a
she is now a He in every sense of the word, including the growing
of body hair ( arms, face, chest ). The now "He" is the Dominant
of the couple. He works in a local Retail Store and I'd say 99.9%
of the people who visit that store take Him for a genetically born
Male. This pair has been together for as long as I have known them
and that is now well over 10 years. I met them when He was still
a "she" so the transformation has occurred over that period of
time. They live happily together in a closely committed relationship.
Couple two,
F/”f” is clearly the oddest coupling I
have ever met. Let me use the tag “Dyke” as a complement
and not in a derogatory manner. An iteration of the term is “Bulldyke” and
both of these tags can certainly be attributed to this genetic
female, and remains female Dominant of this pairing. She is clearly
a she, at least to folks who have known her for a long time. I
would say that some vanilla folks may have mistaken, at one time
or another, Her for a Him. “He” has
a 100% preference for females. The “f” of this pairing
is what makes it the oddest I'd seen. Born a genetic male then
transgendered to a female this person stands at least a foot taller
than “her” partner. “She” 100% prefers females and
probably always has. This goes against a common belief that such
a person may be different than that. The now submissive “she” of
this pairing is heavily into leather and rides a Harley while the
He ( Bulldyke ) tends to be the home body and is socially very
active.
So here's the
conundrum (a: question or problem having only a conjectural answer,
b:
an intricate and difficult problem ). How
do you address “Her” or “Him” or “she” or
whatever and at what time? Well, I have found that addressing the
Dominant of these kinds of pairings as “Sir” works
best. So regardless of the physical construction, refer to them
as a “Sir”. It works most of the time but not all of the time.
Addressing the submissive is much more difficult. I tend
to use “sweetie” regardless if the construction and/or
if the presentation is either masculine or feminine. It tends
to work most of the time, but be careful, not all of the time.
Some last remarks. Both of these Couples have long lasting and
committed relationships. They have gone through whatever formalities
to publicly express that relationship including the necessary ceremonies
both of which I have attended. They have endured the kinds of negative
repercussions you would expect from the vanilla community and handled
it beautifully. They are both loving couples and a joy to us all. |
