Fear Play (Saturday - Peggy O)

Peggy had two demo subs to torment for this demonstration. One of them, J, is very afraid of violet wands. Peggy only had to hold the wand up and move it towards J to get J flinching even though it was clear that the wand was not plugged in. Peggy's other demo sub, Jezebel, had several issues for Peggy to play with. Cold, pain that she can't control, and, basically, loss of control (Jezebel described herself as a "top from the bottom kind of girl") were things that she had a hard time with.

Peggy had J strip nude and hop up on a massage table while Jezebel stripped down to a t-shirt and panties and sat on a chair. J was the first to be tormented. Peggy had fun keeping J in a state of suspense as to when she was going to be zapped and how big a jolt it would be. J tried to back up through the wall behind her. After zapping J a few times Peggy focused her attention on Jezebel. Peggy began with Jezebel's control issues doing things like straddling her in the chair and taking away Jezebel's ability to move. Fairly early on Peggy produced a hood that had no holes for the eyes, nose, or mouth and some self-adhesive tape. The hood went over Jezebel's head and Peggy wrapped several layers of tape around Jezebel's eyes and ears to further inhibit her ability to detect what was going to happen next.

Peggy wasn't done with Jezebel as she straddled her again and ripped her t-shirt open. Jezebel had told Peggy that she was PMSing and that her breasts and nipples were very sensitive; of course Peggy went straight for Jezebel's nipples with some cruel twists. Peggy produced a knife and cut Jezebel's panties on the side so that there was a convenient strip of panty left. Peggy used the strip to give her, if not the mother of all wedgies, then certainly one of the eldest daughters. The resulting groan/scream pleased Peggy very much.

Peggy then went back to torturing J with the violet wand varying intensities, attachments, and body parts (the soles of the feet were particularly sensitive spots for J). Some particularly nasty nipple clamps came into play on J's ears (word of advice; be careful when talking to Peggy about her dog). The clamps eventually made their way to J's nipples. Peggy alternated torturing J with randomly sneaking over to Jezebel every now and then and doing things like placing ice cubes on her vagina (and leaving them there), attaching clothes pins to her labia (and Jezebel's very sensitive breasts of course), engaging in knife play and then kicking it up a notch with straight razor play (the only thing Jezebel had control of here was how still she could remain). Peggy even zapped Jezebel a few times with the violet wand. The idea was to get the subs to dread what Peggy was going to do next and she certainly accomplished that.

The ideas of how and why you would engage in such play were very clear. Fear can raise the energy level of a scene for the bottom and add the element of surprise which can be a lot of fun and some bottoms just simply get off on being afraid or unsure of what is going to happen next.

Awakening The Sadist Within (Saturday - Fifth Angel)

The presentation started out with Fifth Angel describing what sexual sadism is, what makes it different from abuse (in a nutshell, it is consensual; abuse is non-consensual), and the reasons he engages in it. Fifth Angel made it clear that he gets off (becomes sexually aroused) when the sub he is playing with is in pain whether it be physical or emotional. He also made it clear that his play is not always about his own pleasure; it is often about helping the bottom to work through things like phobias and drug addiction. Aftercare of the subs he plays with is of utmost importance to Fifth Angel; he will not put you through the ringer and then ignore you.

Fifth Angel also pointed out that no matter how harsh or brutal the scene is, the people that consent to bottom for him come away better for it as they discover new inner strength. This strength may come from their discovery of their ability to take more pain than they thought they could or to face up to some emotional situation that surfaced during play or that the thing they feared was not quite as scary as they thought. Often they are able to draw on that newfound strength to better deal with challenges in their vanilla lives. One session with Fifth Angel is by no means a cure-all for what ails you but the demonstrations that followed definitely backed up his words.

Fifth Angel talked about phobias (which are irrational fears) and how they serve no purpose because they are fears of things that can't hurt us; all they do is get in the way of living our lives. He got a volunteer from the audience who admitted to a fear of needles (her fear wasn't limited to needles - fish hooks bothered her too). Fifth Angel asked her a bit about her fear and asked her to put her arm out with her hand open. He then asked if she would let him place a sharp hook in the middle of her palm. She was clearly uncomfortable with the idea but agreed to it. As soon as Fifth Angel placed the hook on her palm she looked away and tried to extend her arm further away from her body. Fifth Angel kept talking about the hook and pointing out that it was perfectly safe just sitting there in the woman's palm. Exposing the bottom to the thing they fear and talking about it desensitizes them to it and makes it easier for them to deal with the object of the fear. Given the lady's obvious discomfort with having the hook in her palm, she kept it there for an admirable amount of time.

Next up was Caile who has a severe phobia of worms. Not snakes; worms. She is phobic about worms to the extent that people cannot eat noodles in her presence. Fifth Angel had Caile sit beside him on the massage table at the end beside a plastic-lined garbage can in case something came up (he also passed out some airline sick bags to the audience for those that felt sympathetically squeamish) and produced a Styrofoam container of worms (which was closed). Caile immediately jumped and leaned back as far she could upon sight of the container.

Fifth Angel talked about the container and the worms and after a while he asked if he could place the container, closed, on Caile's lap. Caile slowly agreed and the container was placed on her lap; Fifth Angel pointed out that she had to hold it to keep it from falling. Caile really didn't like that idea but it was obvious that the container would fall (and possibly break open freeing the worms) so, as lightly as she could, she held the container. I don't know if she realized it but Caile had just moved past the step that worried her, passively having the container placed in her lap, to actively holding the container.

The effort it took for even these small steps was clear from Caile's facial expressions and body language; she did not want that container that close to her. All the time Fifth Angel was talking about the worms, describing what they looked like, all in a very calm, even voice.

Next, Fifth Angel asked if Caile would open the container and just look at a worm (this was the goal she had agreed to prior to the scene). Just the words had Caile "squirming" (sorry, couldn't resist!). Now for those of you thinking this was a "mind fuck" and there were no worms in the container to begin with, Fifth Angel made it clear that he has no use for mind fucks; if he says he is going to do something, he will tell you exactly what he is going to do and he will do it. If he says there are worms in the container, there are worms in the container.

Not only did Caile achieve her goal of looking at a worm, with Fifth Angel's help she even touched a worm! Did that cure her phobia? Nope. Can people now eat noodles in front of her? Definitely not. It would take a lot more work for Caile to get to the point where noodles could be eaten in front of her. Nonetheless we in the audience were extremely proud of Caile and quite impressed with the courage she showed for facing her fear to the extent that she did. We were also impressed with how Fifth Angel was able to get her to access that inner strength and help her go beyond her goal.

After Caile sat down, Fifth Angel brought Peggy up and had her eat a few worms. Several members of the audience made quick dashes to the washrooms. A humorous moment occurred when Fifth Angel asked if anyone in the audience would like to join Peggy in eating a worm. One sub was volunteered by her dom but things backfired when the sight of her eating the worm made him squeamish. "He'll never kiss me again!" she exclaimed. Fifth Angel put a little twist into it by not allowing her to brush her teeth, chew gum, or do anything to get the taste of worm out of her mouth for half an hour (ah, I can hear the "Ewwwwwwwww!"s now.). Be careful what you volunteer for with Fifth Angel.

The demonstration with Caile certainly doesn't seem to be what comes to mind when we think of "sadism". However, if you look at it, Caile did not enjoy one second of it no matter how much it helped her; she was very uncomfortable throughout and Fifth Angel certainly enjoyed her discomfort. Fifth Angel made the point that he is often called upon to do scenes like the one with Caile by the bottom's significant other because being a sadist he can take things much farther than the significant other can; the significant other often can't bear to cause their loved one that much emotional or physical pain.

The next scene definitely fit the "traditional" idea of sadism and really took the bottom involved and the audience to the edge. Some members of the audience couldn't watch the whole scene and left the area until the scene was over.

A woman from the audience volunteered for the scene. Our volunteer had been a demo bottom in past events and she can handle a lot of pain. Knowing this gave the scene that was about to unfold even more impact. The scene started out with Fifth Angel asking our volunteer a series of questions such as where she hadn't been flogged (stomach), and what she didn't like having done to her (face slapping).

Fifth Angel tore into her stomach with two nunchaku-like floggers. These floggers had small chains among the tails making them particularly nasty. Our volunteer began backing up within seconds and was in severe pain in no time. The intensity that Fifth Angel applied gave the lady no time to process the pain and she was soon sinking down to the floor. I thought that would be the end of it but Fifth Angel moved in close, spoke to her, and then maneuvered/dragged her away from the wall, got her into a bowing position in front of him, and, holding her down, began flogging her back. The lady's screams indicated that Fifth Angel was flogging as hard as or harder than when she was standing.

Again they stopped with Fifth Angel saying something to her and then she was on her back with Fifth Angel between her legs in a missionary position. For a bit, Fifth Angel simply held her there but then he lowered his head and began biting her. From the lady's screams it was still painful as hell but it was more sensual than the raw brutality that had preceded it. The relative calmness didn't last for long as Fifth Angel got up and began to turn up the intensity once again.

Watching the scene brought a mix of feelings to the surface for me. Part of me was simply attracted to the rawness, savagery, and energy of the scene. Another part of me wanted to leave as it was difficult to see someone you know & like in such pain. I had to keep reminding myself that our volunteer had consented to demo this scene. Yet another part of me was turned on by the sight of a woman willingly enduring an enormous amount of pain.

In discussing the scene after a break, during which Fifth Angel stayed with our volunteer, talking to her and helping her come down from the scene, he revealed that she had safe-worded quite early on. Fifth Angel does not like using safe-words because he finds that the body is stronger than the mind thinks it is and bottoms tend to safe-word when their bodies could actually handle a lot more; this is what happened with our volunteer; she had safe-worded but it turned out that she could handle more than she thought she could.

An audience member asked how a top would know when the sub has had enough if safe words aren't used. Fifth Angel said that the top must really pay attention to and be able to read what the bottom's body and reactions are telling them. It seems to go against the "Safe, sane, and consensual" mantra but the argument can be made that it is consensual to begin with (in that the sub agreed to not use a safe-word and put their trust in the top), and it's up to the top to provide the "safe and sane" part and if they're not, then it's up to the bottom to get away from them.

Fifth Angel then began talking to the woman that asked the question. He asked her to come up and began to ask her questions one of which being what would she need in order to trust him enough to do a scene with him. She stated that she would not bottom for him because she didn't know him well enough and she was still fairly new to BDSM and wasn't sure of what her limits were. Fifth Angel once again challenged our (or at least my own) notion of what a sadist is by not looking at this relative newbie as a "fresh meat" opportunity. Instead, he relented and agreed with her that this might not be the best place to start because he plays at the extreme end of BDSM. Once again Fifth Angel showed that being a sadist does not mean you are without morals or concern for others.

Fifth Angel provided another example of how sadism might help with deep-seated personal issues. Peggy used to be, in the distant past, an IV drug user. Peggy has been clean for a long time but she still has issues with her past life as a drug user. One of her big fears is that people will reject her if they ever find out about her drug-using past. Fifth Angel had Peggy come up in front of the audience and made her go through the actions she would perform when she was shooting up complete with using her belt as a tourniquet and using an empty hypodermic needle to mimic injecting the drug. The striking change in Peggy's demeanor and body language from confident and devilishly cheerful to timid and depressed gave us some idea of how much this issue bothered her.

Fifth Angel talked about why he was making her do this in front of us. He said that part of it was to desensitize her to the actions (if she was really "over" it, then going through the motions would not bother her) and part of it was that he wanted to challenge her fear that people would reject her for the person she used to be. The positive response that the audience showed for Peggy backed Fifth Angel up; if anything, we were very impressed with Peggy for having kicked something that difficult (it should be pointed out that nothing was planned with the audience beforehand). As with Caile's phobia of worms this one scene didn't "cure" Peggy but it did bring her one step closer to overcoming her fears and issues with her past and we were glad to be a part of it.

Play Party (Saturday Night)

Just as they had during the day's presentations, Fifth Angel and Peggy left their marks (both figuratively and literally) on the play party as well.

To kick things off, Fifth Angel sutured demo sub J's mouth shut. The suturing was not an "official" demonstration (none of the scenes that Fifth Angel or Peggy engaged in during the play party were "official" demos); J, her dom, and Fifth Angel had discussed having this done at the play party prior to the event. Fifth Angel has sutured many body parts as part of play and not knowing if she'd get the chance to try it again, J went for it. Fifth Angel used relatively thick black suture material - thick so that J could feel it going through her skin - and black so that it would show up better (as Fifth Angel pointed out, what fun is it if no one knows it's there?). J was doing very well with it, communicating with gestures and with paper and pen until later on in the evening.

J was doing quite well with her sutured mouth. However, there was a point in the evening when J's body just "shut down" and she became unresponsive. I'm not sure what exactly precipitated the incident (although she had been through a lot during the day) but Fifth Angel was summoned and he removed the sutures and brought J back to normal functioning.

The next day Fifth Angel addressed the incident and pointed out that in such situations the top must remain calm; if the top panics, everyone panics. Sometimes the body, in response to stress (which can come from play), shuts itself down and the bottom passes out or becomes unresponsive. If you have first-aid training (like all tops should) you're less likely to panic and should be able to handle most of these situations where the bottom "zones out"; they look scary but if you don't panic you're usually able to bring the bottom around (of course if they're not coming around then don't hesitate to seek medical help).

Hot Wax & Fire Play (Sunday - Peggy O)

This workshop was much lighter in mood than the previous day's presentations.

Peggy discussed how to prepare wax for play and dispelled some myths about candles and wax (the colour of a candle does not tell you how hot it burns). She included tips for how to do it cheap and revealed a variety of ways to apply it (she used a ladle, paint brushes, and a turkey baster - make up your own joke for that one). Peggy was back to her impishly evil self as she took great delight in pouring hot wax on some sensitive spots that Jezebel had from when Peggy was torturing her the previous day. Of course, the wax had to come off and Peggy was more than willing to "help" Jezebel get the wax off by roughly rubbing those same spots.

Peggy then switched to fire play going over safety matters, and being very clear that the idea is to not let the fire linger on the sub's body; if it does, the sub can suffer some severe burns very quickly. She stressed that fire is unpredictable and even if you're well-experienced in playing with it, it can still get away from you if you're not careful. She related her own experience where a friend of hers severely burned her accidentally during a fire play scene even though both of them had been doing fire play for years.

The highlight of the fire play was the flash cotton. Flash cotton can be bought at magic stores or toy stores that sell magic supplies and this stuff is cool if used properly. The idea is to dry it out (it comes wet), and then spread it out on the sub's body. Get creative and make trails on the sub's body if you like (staying away from the eyes of course). The cotton is then lit and follows the trail with a pretty impressive flash. The good thing about flash cotton is that it burns very quickly and completely; there's nothing left on the bottom's skin that can burn them. Fifth Angel pointed out that you could run into problems if you roll the cotton up into a ball rather than spreading it out - it burns longer that way.

A hands-on try-it-out session followed with Peggy going around giving tips and pointers. It was during this part of the workshop that the challenges of body hair in playing with wax and fire became very apparent; I'll spare the graphic details but suffice it to say that wax is difficult to remove from hair (and of course, the more hair, the more difficult it is to remove). One bottom in particular found this out the hard way. Like many things that seem like a good idea at first, it was only after a good amount of wax was poured onto a good amount of body hair that it became apparent how much work it would be to remove; this made the situation quite humorous for those of us watching.

Another lesson was learned when Peggy used a spray bottle with alcohol as a mini torch and set one bottom's hairy behind on fire very briefly (Peggy knew exactly what she was doing and was ready; she extinguished the fire right away and no harm was done). It was one of those things that make you go "Wow!" (one audience member said it was worth the price of admission alone). One thing though; burnt hair does not smell good. Unfortunately for the bottom he was also the one who had to deal with the wax; on the bright side, his trials and tribulations did add a lot of entertainment value for the rest of us.

Fluid of Life: Blood Play (Sunday - Fifth Angel)

Once more to the edge. Fifth Angel made it very clear that some people would just not "get" blood play. Some, like him, would be attracted to it even before the demo. Others might have their minds changed by the demo - not understanding the attraction but then having a change of mind. He made it clear that this blood play had nothing to do with that engaged in by the vampire community (people that are into drinking blood).

The demo, by necessity, was very clinical compared to the previous ones; lots of discussion about blood borne pathogens (diseases that can be transferred through contact with blood) and the proper use and disposal of a sharps container.

Of course, in order to play with blood, you have to get it out. Three types of blood letting were demonstrated - capillary, veinous, and arterial each in increasing degree of difficulty to perform.

Capillary play can be done by most people and is relatively safe as the needles that are used do not penetrate deep and the holes left are self-sealing (the needles are the ones used to prick your finger when you give blood). Veinous blood play is still do-able without a medical degree but it is more advanced with more things to watch out for than capillary play. For arterial play you pretty much have to be a nurse or medical doctor. Even Fifth Angel, who draws blood from arteries as part of his job had a hard time getting a needle into an artery on demo sub J.

I found the lack of blood shed by the volunteer during the capillary demo a bit surprising. Fifth Angel jabbed her in the arm quite a few times while discussing the play and answering questions from the audience but there was very little blood.

There was definitely blood shed by another volunteer when Fifth Angel demonstrated arterial bloodletting. This volunteer pushed aside her aversion to needles and allowed Fifth Angel to poke around in her arm trying to pierce an artery. Fifth Angel explained that arteries were sometimes difficult to hit because they sometimes "jump" when they are touched; he finally pierced the artery and we were able to see the blood pumping out in time with the volunteer's heartbeat.

The highlight was the veinous blood letting and Fifth Angel "painting" J's body with her own blood. One of the clear take-aways from this demo was the beauty of the blood on the body. The blood looked like a full-body henna tattoo on J with zebra-like stripes running down the sides of her entire body. Several people were surprised at just how aesthetically pleasing it looked.

In the discussion that followed, Fifth Angel said that he often engages in blood play with his slave and when he does so he becomes very primal and loses himself to the extent that his slave sometimes has to bring him back down and remind him that he is human. He says that it's an amazing experience when he is in primal mode.

Final Thoughts

Wow. The DsSM organizers and volunteers hit another one out of the park with this event. From the decor of the event site, to Cafe de Sade (the canteen that runs during events), to the music - both for the scenes and the play party (always top notch), to the choice of presenters and topics, everything was first-rate and made for a very memorable weekend.

If you have the chance to attend a demo or workshop that Fifth Angel or Peggy are putting on, do so (and don't let Fifth Angel's bio scare you off; he knows when to turn the sadism on and off)!