I was at a gathering recently and overheard a rather interesting comment about switching. The person speaking was replying to a new person about what a switch was when they said “A switch is someone who is both dominant and submissive because they can’t decide which one to be.” This started me thinking about some of the other misconceptions I have been exposed to when exhibiting my “switchy” nature.

How about the one about the switch who just can’t decide what to be? The determination to be both dominant and submissive at times is a conscious one not an act of indecision. If you think about it, most people are dominant and submissive in their vanilla lives. They may have to take a subordinate role with their boss and then when they return home they assume a dominant role with their spouse or children. This is considered the norm for society so why does it appear as an act of indecision in the Scene?

Another concept that has been misconstrued is the notion that a switch does both all the time, meaning they don’t have a regular role as a dominant or submissive. In fact, the majority of switches tend to favor one role more than the other. Some are even owners of submissive themselves or have taken a collar from someone as a permanent submissive. They will often times use their abilities to switch in a beneficial way, for instance, a submissive who switches may use their dominance in leading the staff in a household or taking charge training other submissives for their owner while remaining a submissive to the owner themselves.

One of the most confusing and I believe one of the most often stated misconception is that of the switch not being able to hold a real place of acceptance in the world of D/s. There is a certain fairy tale romance that surrounds the perception of a dominant/submissive relationship. There are clear cut boundaries and roles to follow. The switch does not follow these boundaries and may appear as an element of anarchy in an otherwise highly structured society. This apparent lack of regard for the rules may make some people highly uncomfortable and shun the switch as a regular member of their societal circle. This also lead to another misconception of the switch as a second class player whether it be from lack of specialization in one type of play or simply the fact that they don’t abide by the framework of the regular dominant/ submissive interaction.

These misconceptions should be examined and understood rather than allowed to perpetuate as is often the case. A switch can be a wonderful play partner as well as an asset to a scene. They can lend an enormous amount of versatility and diversity to the situation. They can fill both the role of submissive and dominant and can do so in the same day or even hour. It lends to an endless variety of combinations in an otherwise melancholy presentation of roles.