Let's take this from the beginning. There are girls who enjoy pain. Pain is what takes them into subspace, that special otherworld they enjoy going so much. What submissives don't like is to be found displeasing. Once you find a submissive displeasing (at least your submissive), she is effectively punished from the moment you express your displeasure.

In the case of a submissive who likes pain, you're likely already playing with a flogger or whip or paddle. So where is the logic in using that same tool as an instrument of punishment?

Some Doms believe in physical punishment and that's fine. It's your decision. In such cases, I would recommend taking one item out of your "toy box" to use as an instrument of punishment. It would be prudent to keep your punishment and play separate, as it is less confusing to the girl.

Before I go on, I'm talking about real punishment here, and not role-playing punishment such as occurs when a girl takes on the role of a brat for the purposes of play. In such cases, you're not really punishing, you're playing, and anything that doesn't break one of your girl's limits is fair game.

It might be prudent to ask this question: What is a punishable offense? My criteria are simple.

I will punish for any breaking of the rules that could not be avoided. That is to say, if a girl is late for a meeting and leaves enough time to get there but there's a road accident and a lot of traffic, I will not punish her. However, if she leaves exactly on time to make it, and I've told her before she needs to leave extra time if she's going to meet me, and I end up standing around and waiting a half hour because she hasn't followed my instructions, that could be a punishable offense, depending on the importance of the event. A lot would depend on how it affected my schedule and how inconvenienced I was by the wait. If I were waiting outside in the cold, it would be a punishable offense. Otherwise, I'd just express my displeasure (which, as already stated, is unpleasant for a girl anyway).

Let's go with an example from real life. I once caught a jealous slave going through my computer, reading logs of my chats without permission. She wanted to get a leg up on the competition I guess, except that there wasn't any—which is not the point. She went on my computer without permission and started reading my chat logs.

Naturally, this is a punishable offense. The funny thing was, had she asked me, I'd have showed them to her. I don't have secrets from my girls. But she didn't ask, she took it upon herself to look. Admittedly, she was new to the collar and I was her first Master.

I could have brought her into the bedroom and gone to town with my belt, but that, to me, doesn't punish her for the crime. Instead I made her send a personal apology to each and every person on my contact list (I had over a hundred people on that list), explaining that she had read their private conversations without permission and that she was sorry. I didn't let her cut and paste. She had to type out each message and explain to each person that this was her punishment.

Actually, she only ended up sending about fifty emails. Not every person on my contact list knew I was into the lifestyle back then (it was before I was writing erotica or publishing under Master Nage), and so only those people I knew through the lifestyle received an email. The girl was completely humiliated by the experience, having had to show fifty strangers, and a handful of people she knew, how insecure she was, and how little she trusted her Master. This, to me, was a fitting punishment.

Another girl complained about not having anything to wear. She could have clothed a third world nation with what she had in the closet. This wouldn't have been a punishable offense, except that her fussiness in getting ready made us late for an important appointment. She had been scolded more than once about the same thing. I decided to teach her a lesson.

I took away every one of her outfits and locked them in a trunk. She had one outfit to wear—the least flattering, of course. For two weeks, each night, she would have to wash that outfit by hand and wear in the next day.

When I gave her back half her wardrobe, she was so thrilled to see her old clothes, she cried. Suddenly she had plenty to wear—and that was with only half her old wardrobe. If this seems extreme, remember that the ultimate result of that punishment left my girl happier, and more appreciative. I often punish more to teach a valuable lesson than to express my displeasure. I can express displeasure in words.

What I never do is punish in anger. If I'm angry, I'll defer punishment until I can think clearly, for all punishment should be for the benefit of the girl.

In either of the above cases, how would the girl have benefited from a spanking with a paddle?

One last punishment, if you can't think of anything specifically applicable to the infraction. If there is something your girl hates to eat, make her eat it three meals a day for three days. That is usually pretty effective. Such a punishment ensures she'll pay more attention to the rules the next time.

I should say at this point that I don't usually have to punish a girl more than twice a year or so. If you find yourself punishing your girl weekly or even more often, you need to take a good long look at your relationship. Either she wants to please you, or she doesn't. If she doesn't, she shouldn't be wearing your collar. If she does and keeps screwing up, it's your fault for collaring an incompetent sub. Either way, it doesn't require constant punishment.

Also, over-punishing can demoralize a girl and make her gun shy. Girls who always worry about doing the wrong thing aren't free to be themselves—the true value of a slave to a man like me. I delight in who my girls are and don't want them to have to tiptoe around me. I like when they're playful, as long as they stay within the boundaries I've set for them. I enjoy them most when they're happy. I'm relatively certain if I started punishing my slave twice a week, she'd always be looking over her shoulder, and her behavior would ultimately please me less—and it would be my fault. Still, punishment is a fact of life that all Doms have to deal with.

I've never been a sadist and don't like to cause pain. As a Master, I should do what I like. On the other hand, it is my responsibility to discipline a girl if she needs it. By using non-physical punishment, I can be true to both myself and my commitment to a girl.

I've very rarely had to punish twice for the same infraction.